Movie Nerd: My Favorite Movies of 2011

Let's start with the disclaimer: I have not seen all of the movies in the world. I have not, to my dismay, seen Shame or Hugo or Drive or My Week With Marilyn. What I have seen are the following movies, and some other ones I didn't like as much.

Moneyball

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I'm starting to notice a pattern with Aaron Sorkin-penned movies and my initial desire to see them. I'm mostly just thinking about this and The Social Network - two movies whose premises didn't really intrigue me, but whose casting and buzz caught my attention. And then I see them and I'm blown away. I've heard a lot of people say that this is the "Best Baseball Movie for People Who Hate Baseball" - and while that may be true - it's also an incredible movie for someone who happens to love baseball. This movie actually reminded me how much I love it. Brad Pitt's performance is relaxed and casual, yet physical and captivating and Jonah Hill was good. Like, actually nuanced for a guy who got his start playing this guy.

Midnight in Paris

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I think the Academy members this year were experiencing an intense bout of nostalgia (what with over half of the Best Picture nominations going to period pieces), and I found this Woody Allen bit of excellence to be the perfect portrait of longing for a bygone era. I'm not sure if it's entirely deserving of a Best Picture nod, but I found Midnight in Paris to be utterly entertaining and made me really really miss Europe. Also, Owen Wilson is the best Woody Allen since Woody Allen and thank goodness for that. We miss you, Alvy Singer.

The Descendants

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It's hard to imagine any woman in her right mind cheating on Intern George, but, apparently that's what happens in Hawaii. What a world. Ridiculous women aside, this was an incredibly moving portrait of a family in dire straights, at times hilarious, and at other times utterly heartbreaking. If for no other reason, you should see it for the moment when a grouchy old man just "haul[s] off and cold-cocks" a doofy kid. But you know, also for the surprisingly good acting and writing and directing.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, Part 2

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Because it's the end of an era and I cried in the theaters and my friends looked at me like I was crazy but whatever it was really sad and good and amazing and bittersweet and I got goosebumps a lot and shut up I'm not crying you're crying!!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

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Rooney Mara was fantastic, and I never turn down an opportunity to see Daniel Craig. It was a faithful rendition of the original Swedish film (which, if you haven't seen you really must) and the directing was everything I expected it to be - moody and dark and punctuated by a truly appropriate soundtrack. Just be warned - that scene that everyone tells you is horrible is truly truly horrible. Maybe just cover your eyes and ears for that.

Jane Eyre

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See image above.

Haywire

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Because I was actually throwing punches in the theater - and it's amazing to see a female action star who could beat the snot out of you in real life. This wasn't a particularly Important or Profound movie, and, despite it's strong female lead, it fails the Bechdel Test MISERABLY, but it's really a fun watch. Also: Michael Fassbender's in it so it has that going for it, too.

War Horse

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The film that will heretofore be referred to as War Pony, was one that had me gently weeping from start to finish. As I may have mentioned before, I have a bit of a soft spot for movies about horses, and boy does this fit the bill. Spielberg is no stranger to getting an audience to connect, and at least in my case, he did another magnificent job. Perfect example: after seeing the trailer for the upteenth time, I vowed to light the theater on fire if the horse dies at the end. SPOILER ALERT: No arson was committed in the viewing of this film. A masterful film about the transformative nature of war through the lens of really boss horsie.

Young Adult

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I think for a while there we were all collectively suffering from a major case of Diablo Cody whiplash. We all seemed, for some widely unknown reason, to have high hopes for Jennifer's Body, and when that didn't pan out, a lot of people (i.e. just me) threw up our (my) arms and hoped to dismiss the whole stripper-turned-screenwriter thing. And then Charlize Theron rides in in a Hello-Kitty pink Mini Cooper and we (still just me) remember what's so great about her writing. Young Adult was just the right blend of delusion and dark humor, and Charlize Theron is great - though for me, Patton Oswalt was the real take-away from the film. Take me to LegoLand, man.

We Need To Talk About Kevin

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Holy crap, guys. Holy crap. Have you seen this movie? You probably shouldn't. But you should. But maybe you shouldn't. I made the mistake of watching this at night before I went to bed. I shouldn't have done that. Ezra Miller plays sadistic...too well. I'm actually convinced that he is evil. Tilda Swinton is SWINTONLY. She plays a Lady MacBeth-ian mother, paying penance for sins that are not hers, and I just want someone to hold me.

Bridesmaids

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I am ready to PAAARTY! with the best of them! One of the funniest movies I've seen in recent history, Bridesmaids is an excellent representation of female friendship and an even better portrayal of what it actually is to Not Quite Have Your Proverbial Shit Together. In a great year for women in film, this film stands shoulders above the rest for not being afraid to be funny and ridiculous and true all at the same time.

50/50

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I can't imagine what studio exec said, "a comedy about a young guy with cancer? GREENLIGHT IT, JOHNSON!" (in this hypothetical the executive has an assistant named Johnson, in case that wasn't clear.), but I'm actually glad that it happened. A risky comedy, to be certain, but the film deals with a subject that many of us know far too well with honesty, humor and with enough movie-cahones to face the main character's ordeal head-on. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, as always, turned out a performance of surprising depth and relatability, but for me, it was Seth Rogen (who was actually just playing himself) as JGL's bff and support system who surprised me. I wonder if he's looking for new friends...

Oscar Dresses Predictions - Lead Actresses

Despite the somewhat lame offerings this year in terms of nominees, I am, as always, super mega psyched for The Oscars. It combines everything I love - great movies, awards, and pretty dresses. What's not to like? So, because I have no life, I decided to spend my time creating an intricate layout of dress predictions. Here are my very scientific, definitely probably accurate, excellent choices for the Lead Actress nominees:

Glenn Close

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Nominated for: Albert Nobbs

Dress Prediction: Glenn is one of those actresses who I always forget how incredible she looks for a 64 year old woman. And then I see her out and about I remember. Dang. Because she has guns for days, she can pull off the strapless look. I would like to see her in something

that shows off her arms, like this Carolina Herrera look from her recent Spring/Summer 2012 collection. Backup - Armani Privé Spring 2012.

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Viola Davis

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Nominated for: The Help

Dress Prediction: Ms. Davis won my heart a long time ago as the conflicted mother of a young boy in Doubt. I've yet to see her in The Help, but I have seen her bringin' it on the red

carpet this season. She's not afraid of color, and likes to offset her toned body in one shouldered dresses. Giambattista Valli's most recent couture collection seems right up her alley. I see her in either of these fabulous frocks:

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Rooney Mara

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Nominated for: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Dress Prediction: Rooney's been a bit of a wild card this red carpet season. She's definitely not afraid to take risks and get people talking. She's gone from soft and feminine to hard and edgy. When Givenchy's latest collection came out, it got a lot of people talking about its connection to Lisbeth/Rooney. Of the ten look collection, I think the fourth is most Oscar-worthy. But, as she's not afraid to take risks, I think it'd be exciting to see her in something from Dior's recent Grace Kelly-esque collection.

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Meryl F. Streep

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Nominated for: The Iron Lady

Dress Prediction: She is Meryl Freakin' Streep. She is above fashion trends. She is Meryl Streep and she will wear what she wants when she wants to wear it. I can just see her rocking the F out of this orange Alexis Mabille get up (minus the orange face and giant flower hat, obviously). That being said, I'd also love to see the Devil herself donning Chanel on the red carpet.

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Michelle Williams

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Nominated for: My Week With Marilyn

Dress Prediction: Michelle has a very established red carpet style. Demure and romantic, vintage yet current. One of my favorite Michelle Williams looks of all time is the yellow Vera Wang she wore in 2006. I'd love to see her echo the success of that dress with another yellow gown while still maintaining her typical red carpet style, though honestly, almost anything from the Elie Saab Spring 2012 Couture collection would be perfection on her.

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Happy Birthday, Paulie!

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In case you couldn't tell by now, I loves me some Paul Newman. Today would have been his 87th birthday, and so I see no reason why I shouldn't just post a thousand pictures of my imaginary husband for all to see in order to celebrate his wonderful life.

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Not many men can pull off the whole paisley button down shirt. Paul is one of the few who can.

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Note to men everywhere: Be Paul Newman.

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Baby Paul's portrait upon entering the Navy after High School

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Paul and wife of fifty years, Joanne Woodward, aka The Luckiest Woman That Has Ever Lived.

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Steve McQueen & Paul

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Paul Newman & Robert Redford vs. Irrelevant Human Being has been scientifically proven to be the sexiest game of ping pong played ever.

Learn to Cope

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mmm bacon

As February rears its bleak, wintery hellscape of a head, I am forced, yet again, to deal with the horrors of "Valentine's Day". As evidenced by my newest foray into the blogosphere, I am sufficiently and perpetually single. And, I know it's a little "the lady doth protest too much", but it really is OK that I am. Most of the time. Like...80% of time. Alright, 70% of the time. Happy?

So, in order to deal with a time of the year in which it seems that society is constantly reminding me that I'm the human equivalent of wholesale irregular clothing - you know, those pants with three leg holes or T-shirts that are actually F-shirts - I've developed a few coping mechanisms. With a patented blend of self-pity and positivity, these methods have gotten me through 24 (oh my god 24) February 14th's solo. They are as follows:

Al Green. Lots and lots of Al Green.

Never can you ever have too much Al. Ain't that right, President Obama?


Strong Female Role Models

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Because Tina Fey/Liz Lemon and Amy Poehler/Leslie Knope make me feel so good about myself. Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day/Galentine's Day to all!


An unmitigated stream of food

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Seriously. This is important. Constant food. Like, amounts that should make you embarrassed but shut up, Mom I'll eat what I want I'm a grown up. Cuisines to try: cheese, $1 Chinese buffet, anything and everything fried, and the occasional palette-cleansing vegetable.


Movies

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Here's where the real finesse of the day comes into play. I learned the hard way that you should never, under any circumstances, watch something like The Notebook on Valentine's Day. A much better choice? Something like Kill Bill, Vol. 1 or Haywire. The important thing is not to get caught up in those movies that are made for the sheer purpose of making you cry. Acceptable love stories include but are not limited to: The Holiday, Emma, or any and all episodes of Downton Abbey. Pretty much anything that involves British people and story lines that end happily and won't make you realize you might die alone.


Booze.

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Oh, booze. Hooch. The sauce. Moonshine. Alcohol. You're always there for me, especially when I need to drown my sorrows. Be sure to stick to drinking during the off-hours, though, as this year's holiday does fall on a workday. The last thing you need is to get fired for drunkenness on Valentine's day. Talk about piling on.


So, to ensure your February 14th survival, be sure to "celebrate" with your closest friends. Just make sure that none of them are deliriously and happily in love. Other wise you might end up hating them. Most importantly, don't take any of this too seriously, and it's (more than) cool to be over it. After all, February 15th is only a day away.